peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
