She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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