Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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