bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
