yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
