He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
