Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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