Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
