I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
