I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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