all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so let's talk penis.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize