Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
