it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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