Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
