Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
