ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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