words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
