I smell stomach acid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize