you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
