Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
