guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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