fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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