so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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