May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
