he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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