is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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