I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
