I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
