when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
