About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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