you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I will pee on everything he values.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
