Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
