he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
