so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
