I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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