3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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