Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
