new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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