READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
did i walk over a car last night?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
