Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
