I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just found a bag of teeth...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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