DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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