Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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