I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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