"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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