i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
