we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
