Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
