So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
