haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
