It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
