the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
