omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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