he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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