I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
