i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How's work?
Spinning.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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