A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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