Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
