Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
